Some days are fine, some days it's hard playing this waiting game. It's almost been 4 months since we applied for the IVF scholarship. I wonder, with the holidays approaching, if we won't find out until after the new year? Sometimes its difficult to see so many others around me getting pregnant and having babies because I want it to be me so badly. I strive to keep everything in perspective though that it will all work and have faith that one day it will be my turn too. Why is so hard to just enjoy and live in the present moment? I feel like I am always focusing on the future and what I want. I need to continually remind myself to enjoy this time in life; being young and married, done with school, buying our first home etc. There is so much to be grateful for right now. I need to worry less and enjoy the many blessings right in front of me.
"I don't believe that God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on... Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution..." ~Author Unknown
Thank you to a new friend for letting me borrow this quote from her blog.
9 comments:
Mandy,
I can relate with this post. Although we have finally reached the IVF cycle, the waiting was so hard. I had all of your same feelings. That quote is beautiful!! Do you mind if I borrow it as well?
The waiting game you are in must be so difficult. Not being able to be a mom when you want to and are so ready is just such a crime. So it must feel very wrong to you. Love you!
4 months is a long time! Do they give you any time frame as to when they'll let you know? Waiting is so hard.
Sara~ Of course you can use the quote! Isn't it so great? I just find strength through it.
Em~They said it usually takes 2-4 months to find out and sometimes it can be up to 6 months or longer, just whenever the committee can sit down and meet.
You just have to remember that it will happen when the time is right. I always hate that, though, when you want it to happen now. We can't wait for you either! You are gonna be amazing parents.
I just remembered talking to Liz Edgren because it took them so long to get pregnant and they had a miscarriage. She just had her baby 2 days ago and she was saying before he was born that they appreciate him so much more now than they would have if it had been easy. You never know why, but there is definitely a reason for the wait.
Mandy,
I know what you mean about always looking to the future--I have done that for years! And when I finally finished law school and had a steady job, etc., it was quite jarring to be in the "now what am I supposed to do" phase. I got so used to working toward something very specific.
I really try to think about enjoying the "now." If there is any blessing with CF (we have to look for that silver lining right!), it is a reminder that life is short and we should live each and every day.
I hope that you get your answer on the scholarship soon! It is so hard to wait for things, especially when they are huge like this!
Best of luck!!
Lisa
I completely agree with you. I know that we are going to be the best darn moms EVER though, because we have waited much too long!
WOW- I love that quote! I have been realising the same things, I am always looking to the future and what I would like to have in it, instead of loving what I have in my life now. Thanks for the reminder on the perspective!! I am sorry it has taken so long for you to hear back. I am keeping my fingers crossed really hard for you!!
Mandy,
I hope your wait isn't much longer! I am getting ready to enter a cycle and feel as though the wait was so long...please know that you are in my prayers and I hope for a shorter wait for you and your husband!
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