Sunday morning lab draw

Well day 3 didn't fall on Christmas, instead it fell on today, Sunday. Colin was with me because he came to pick me up from work. I just got off of my night shift (3rd night in a row and so exhausted) this morning and went to the lab. They were closed but I was able to page the lab techs from the inpatient units to come draw my blood. They could not find my order from the clinic even though I called on Monday and the lab had it then. So they paged the on-call doctor to get the order. When the on-call doctor called he said he could not give an order for me but to call one of the docs from my clinic. I was worried that none of the doctors would be on-call on Sunday but luckily one of them was able to call and give the verbal order for me to get my FSH and estradiol taken. It took 1 hour (which really should have been 15 minutes) to get it all sorted out but I wasn't about to wait another month! Sigh of relief, that is done! Once they get my results we go back to waiting.
As I sat in the lab this morning with Colin I was so excited for the new year to come as we continue to embark on this IVF road. I am hopeful the committee will meet shortly after the new year and continue to pray that we can be chosen as recipients. We are so ready to start IVF!

FSH

Today I was out Christmas shopping and I got a call from the coordinator. She told me that my FSH levels had not been drawn which is one of the qualifiers for the scholarship. I don't know how we missed this. I thought we had done everything we needed to but apparently not. I just figured somewhere in all of the blood work the clinic had all the information they needed. The coordinator was reassuring though. All of my nursing books are packed away but my understanding is that the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) stimulates production of eggs and indicates the age of the ovaries or the ovarian reserve (aka if you have enough ovaries and if they are in good shape). FSH levels are also used to determine the production of sperm in a male, Colin's levels were normal. I wanted to run into the lab today and get it done but the catch is that it has to be drawn on day 3 of your menstrual cycle. Luckily I am on birth control now and I start my sugar pills Monday. Meaning that my period should start soon and I am just hoping that day 3 doesn't fall on Christmas because I don't know if the lab will be open. Ahhhhh, the stress! But it is exciting at the same time because it means that the committee will probably be meeting soon. I suspect after the holidays.

Merry Christmas!

If any you are even still reading this...I can't believe that it has been 2 months since I last posted! Sorry. Honestly it is because I have nothing to post about. Colin spoke with the coordinator for the scholarship committee sometime in November and she said she was hopeful that the committee would meet by the end of the year. Now it is 2 weeks away from being the end of the year and we have not heard anything. We turned in our application 6 months ago. We are fine and really there is nothing we can do except try to focus on other things and enjoy all the blessings we do have. We've been busy with getting our house in shape, working, spending time together, getting ready for Christmas etc. There are many things in life that we have control over but with this issue it is completely out of our control and in the Lord's hands. There is nothing more we can do but wait. Although I wonder "when?" very often, I do have faith that the Lord knows best and will provide when the time is right. I am grateful for this Christmas season and wish you all the very happiest and best! I hope to have more exciting news during 2009! Merry Christmas!

Just some thoughts

Some days are fine, some days it's hard playing this waiting game.  It's almost been 4 months since we applied for the IVF scholarship.  I wonder, with the holidays approaching, if we won't find out until after the new year?    Sometimes its difficult to see so many others around me getting pregnant and having babies because I want it to be me so badly.  I strive to keep everything in perspective though that it will all work and have faith that one day it will be my turn too. Why is so hard to just enjoy and live in the present moment? I feel like I am always focusing on the future and what I want. I need to continually remind myself to enjoy this time in life; being young and married, done with school, buying our first home etc. There is so much to be grateful for right now. I need to worry less and enjoy the many blessings right in front of me.

"I don't believe that God never meant for me not to have children.  That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on... Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution..." ~Author Unknown

Thank you to a new friend for letting me borrow this quote from her blog.  

Baby Shopping

While shopping at the outlets in Park City for a baby gift Colin saw this little onsie and thought it was so cute that we had to buy it for our baby.  Well I couldn't resist Colin telling me to buy something for our baby, how cute is that!!!

One Step Closer

It has been quite a while that any progress has been made toward IVF but I finally have some news. I was so happy when my menstrual cycle was 1 week early because it meant I could go and see my doctor that much earlier.

Yesterday I went in for my IVF appt. to get a map of my uterus, a trial transfer and be put on birth control. For some reason I was so nervous before the appt. because I thought it was going to be a lot worse then it really was. From the time the doctor began the ultrasound and trial transfer to the end was only about 10 minutes. During the trial transfer I felt a lot of discomfort and my uterus was cramping pretty bad from the pressure but it didn't last long. Thankfully Colin was there with me to remind me to breath, for some reason I kept holding my breath. It was very reassuring to have Doctor Gibson tell me how healthy my uterus and ovaries were. After Doctor Gibson was done he went to find out what Colin's FSH level was. He came back to tell us that his FSH level was excellent and that he was very confident that the testicular biopsy will go well. Then he prescribed me birth control. I asked if it would also help my acne, which he said it would. I am very happy to start the birth control to clear up my skin and because it means we are one step closer to doing a cycle of IVF. We told him that we are still waiting to hear back about our scholorship but as soon as we do, we are ready to start the medications and prepare for our first cycle. So here we are, we have done everything we have needed to in preparation for our IVF cycle and things are in place ready to go. Now we just wait some more. I understand that timing is not in my control and I have to exercise faith and trust that it will all happen exactly when it needs to.

As we shook Dct. Gibson's hand goodbye I felt a lump in my throat and tears swell up in my eyes. I tried to hold my tears back like a dam as he left the room but I know he saw. I couldn't help but feel such strong emotions as he reassured us that things looked great for both of us to successfully have a child that is part Colin and part me. How could you not have such strong feelings of joy and humility? I don't care how, I just care that we will one day be blessed to hold OUR baby in our arms.

Not much going on

I was supposed to met with my doctor this month but now I have to wait until September. This is how it works, on the first day of your menstrual cycle you need to set an appointment with your doctor for the trial transfer and map of uterus for days 6-12 of the cycle. Well when I called this month for my appointment my doctor was out-of-town on my 6-12 day!! Now I have to wait until next month. There is no rushing this process I am always re-learning. Sorry no other new updates except that I graduated nursing school!!!! I will post as soon as I have some new updates.

Results are in!

The results are in from the CF screen and I am not a carrier. We are very happy and relieved! The next step? I am not going back to our IVF doctor until August. At that point the doctor wants do a trial transfer, map out my uterus (is that too much info, my apologies) and get me on birth control to regulate my menstrual cycle. The plan is to be ready to start the hormone medications and prepare for IVF as soon as we hear back from the scholarship we applied for. Whatever way it goes we want to be ready to start IVF.

Still waiting...

It has been an entire month and we have heard nothing! I have called our geneticist and he said the lab results will not be back for at least another week. We submitted our application today. Sorry, not much to report. Luckily all the time spent waiting is going by very quickly because our lives our insanely busy right now.

Now we just wait...

Insurance gave the final okay and I went and had my blood drawn this morning. I guess it takes 3-4 weeks to get the results. We are going to do the Sequencing screen, which is more in depth than the basic 32 mutation screen. Meanwhile we will just keep working on our IVF gift application and get it ready so we can turn it in first thing June 24th, not a moment later!

Genetic Counseling Appointment

We just got back from our genetic counseling appointment. It was was surprisingly very educational and useful. Colin and I were presented with 4 different types of CF screenings and had the hardest time deciding which one to do. We finally agreed that we would do a Sequencing screen which was more in depth than the basic 32 Mutation Panel. Our geneticist is going to contact our insurance one more time to verify that they will cover this expense and will let us know if they give the okay today or tomorrow. Then I will get my blood drawn and wait 2-3 weeks for the results. We are quickly realizing that this IVF processes is going to be lengthy; so many decisions to be made, so much information to consider, waiting for results. What happened to the baby being dropped off on your doorstep by a stork?

Miracles- just the beginning

So we were laying in bed this past Sunday morning and Colin reminded me that it was fast sunday. Dang it!!! I struggle with fast sunday because I love to cook a yummy breakfast on sundays. Being the faithful guy that he is he suggested that we fast for strength and peace as we prepare for and go to our apppointment on Tuesday. Well I fasted all day with a prayer in my heart that our appointment would go well and I have felt the blessings pour out all week.
We had our first IVF consult on Tuesday and it went really well. Even though I have done endless amounts of research on IVF I wasn't prepared for all of the emotion that I felt during the appointment and the rest of the day. Our doctor, Dr. Gibson, was wonderful. He was very friendly and patiently answered our long list of questions. The source of my emotions was from the fact that I want a baby so badly and I felt so anxious because I know this is going to be a long process and I just need to be patient. Both Colin and I were overwhelmed and exhausted. We came home after the appointment and hardly talked about the appointment because we both were so stressed out. But on Wednesday and since then we have been feeling great and able to talk about everything.
Miracle #1
Our doctor wants me to get tested to see if I am a carrier for the CF gene before he sees us again. The reason why I didn't get tested before our appointment was because our insurance did not cover it ( ~$1200, not just pocket change to us!). Our doctor pressed us strongly to get it done so we know what to expect as we continue the IVF process. After the appointment Colin and I decided just to suck it up and pay the $1200 to get screened. Colin called our insurance one more time (I tried once a few months ago with no luck) to explain our situation in the hopes that they would cover it. The next day we got a call from our insurance and they decided they would cover it as long as we went to genetic counseling which was fine with us! That was amazing. We have an appointment with the genetic counselor May 19th .
Miracle# 2
Our doctor told us about a private organization that gives a gift of IVF to couples each year. You have to be referred to this group by your doctor and then you have to meet certain requirements, which we do. Today we met a woman who gave us the application. We can't submit the application until June 24th (our 2 year anniversary) because one of the requirements is that you have to be married 2 years. The only drawback about this is that it takes them 2-4 months to let you know if you are granted the gift. We want to start IVF before then but after much discussion we feel that to wait a few extra months to get pregnant at the chance that it would all be paid for is worth it. To have our IVF paid for would truly be a miracle, a gift that we could never pay back, a gift to have our very own, precious baby.
As I said before, nothing could have prepared me for the strong emotions I have felt this week. I feel extremely blessed to have found a great doctor, a great clinic, an opportunity to apply for financial assistance, have insurance pay for my CF screen and most of all the opportunity to have a baby.

Its Scheduled!

I am so excited because we scheduled our Initial Consult for IVF on May 6, 2008 at the Utah Center for Reproductive Medicine. There are only 2 reproductive clinics in the Salt Lake area. It is hard to know which clinic to go with but since our insurance is through the U our initial consult fee ($395) will be covered. In addition a girl in my nursing program used to work there and said only great things about the staff, facility and doctors. Colin's good friend also went to this clinic for infertility problems and is now pregnant. She loved the doctors and staff as well. So we feel good about our decision to meet with them. Prior to the consult I needed to have a Pap smear (never something to look forward to) and blood work to test for immunity to rubella, blood type & Rh. I went to my OB/GYN who was very supportive of my plans for IVF and wrote all the orders I needed so my insurance would cover everything. I also got a prescription for prenatal vitamins - PrimaCare One. I am happy because they have omega-3 fatty acids (both DHA and EPA) which supports neurological development in a growing baby. ( I went to a great lecture a few weeks ago about the importance of DHA and EPA for pregnant and breastfeeding women. Since then I have begun to buy products that have more in them like eggs, milk even wheat torillas.) I have to warn you though, at the expense of sounding gross, prenatals alter your GI system and its not very fun. Colin thinks that my body will adjust with time and everything will go back to normal. I sure hope he is right.
One month seems like so far away but I know I need to just get through the rest of the semester, get all my assignments in, pass my finals and then our appointment will be here in no time. I am so excited to make this process real!

Welcome!

Colin has Cystic Fibrosis (CF), a genetic disease that primarily affects the lungs. A thick-sticky mucous builds up in the lungs which is a perfect home for germs that cause inflammation and infection. This mucous also can build up along the pancreas and reproductive organs causing blockage. The majority of men with CF are infertile for 1 of two reasons, 1)blockage of mucous along the reproductive track prohibits semen from passing from the testicle through the Vas Deferens or 2) absence of the Vas Deferens, known as Congenital Bilateral Absence of the Vas Deferens (CBAVD). In Colin's case he has bilateral Vas Deferens but no sperm count meaning that mucous is blocking the pathway of sperm. Colin produces normal amounts of sperm, there is just no natural way for them to exit the body. Through medical intervention, CF men are able to become biological fathers. This is where IVF begins for us, we welcome you to join us on our journey.